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Nov 26, 2010

Fun With AUI-S (AUI-S Girls)

by Astios 


I don’t believe that there is anyone on the planet Earth, including the Pope in Vatican, who doesn’t believe that girls are half of the society, an important half. So if you say, “girls are half of this society,” most people with nod to it. However, you might not get so much consensus on what I am going to say: Girls are half of the society and have confused the other half.

They are so confusing that some of the friends have begun writing articles asking them to cover themselves up.
“Your knees are killing me, please cover them, please!!”
This confusion doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
According to Plato, the great Greek philosopher, confusion is a must for any critical thinking and discovery of Truth.
So, girls are an essential part of any critical thinking process.
If you want a developed country, you should have girls, a lot of them!
I am not kidding!
Look at Afghanistan, for example. One barely can find a girl or even a sub-girl on the streets. And even if there was one, she is so wrapped up in clothes that it is impossible to know her sex. You may only take blind guesses. So it is not surprise when we see Afghanistan in this situation.
However, look at the countries that women are allowed to come into public life and confuse the other half! All of them are the first world countries. Aren’t they?
It is true that Albert Einstein was a genius, but who knows anything about Meliva, the woman who confused Einstein and made him the genius he is. 
Don’t complain about girls’ confusing you.  exploit the opportunity and get an A.
If she is standing right next to you or opposite, and shows you things that can be attempting, don’t take it personally and try to make something out of it. It can be a life time opportunity to become an Einstein.
This confusion we get from girls is not only due to the physical appearance that God gave to Eve and didn’t give to Adam, it can be also an intellectual confusion.
If you didn’t understand what a girl said, don’t blame it on her, think again.
The things girls say always have two cover. An exterior cover, which is visible and easy. It is what every guy gets, even George W. Bush. The second cover, which is the interior one, is the difficult part. It can only be perceived by smart guys.
From now on, don’t try to answer a girl’s question immediately. Think twice, think for the third time and then say the answer.

The hot Mascot!

AUI-S is getting its mascot. Everyone is busy thinking, illustrating, designing and distributing pieces of paper. the thunder, the eagle and some other mascots are being voted.
I went downstairs and voted.
This is not the real story, is it?
No of course it is not. what do I care about a mascot. If it was mas….., I may had a second thought but not for a mascot.
I understand why Student Affairs office is so enthusiastic about having a mascot, because the dorm problems are solved and everyone is contented. What do we do next? We go get a mascot.
What I didn’t understand was the number of student s who registered themselves as voters.
Everyone was going downstairs, to the athletics room, showing and ID and voting.
Why is that?

How do you know if an AUI-S boy has a crush on you?

If you want to figure out whether a boy at AUI-S is attracted to you, read these 10 rules.
1-      When he sees you, he turns from being a demon to an angel
2-      When you are around, his IQ increases and he can explain whatever topic, subject or issue you ask about.
3-      He can make fun of friends of yours, but he never makes fun of you.
4-      When he does something bad to you, even by accident, he apologizes for about an hour.
5-      He gives a smile now and adds you on Facebook two hours from now.
6-      He always sits or stands near to where you are so as to impress you with what he has to say or do.
7-      He is too shy to come and tell you what he feels about you. so all the university, except you, know that he loves you.
8-      Whenever he speaks about good girls at the university, he offers you as the live example.
9-      When you talk about other boys or talk to them, he gets damn jealous.
10-   He loves to see you alone, say Hi to you, or even talk to you for sometime, if you don’t mind, of course!

What I like about AUI-S girls…

1-      They are clean and articulate. You can almost know what shampoo they use before coming to class.
2-      Some of them are brilliant. They impress you with the way they think, talk and solve things. a sexist friend of mine told me that they look like boys when they are smart.
3-      They have kept most the girl traits in them: Long hair, nice clothes, bracelets, necklaces, high heels, gentle smile and good grades.
4-      They know that they don’t know, at least when it is connected with the sports.
5-      Some of them can be really lovely, some of them can be really boring, but the majority is somewhere between the two extremes.
6-      They feel the need for a boyfriend.
7-      When they don’t understand anything, they prefer to smile.
8-      They are very respectful. They never smile at you in your presence. If you hit the door, they say, “Oh, I am sorry.” And when you leave, they laugh.

What I don’t like about AUI-S girls.

1-      Some of them can be very serious. They never take a joke as a joke. They question you on every single thing you say. You know what girls? Take it easy.
2-      Some of them are kissing their girlfriends in a way that raises suspicion.  Sometime I count it, one, two, three and four kisses, hugs, and other stuff. Girls, if you are not doing that to boys, don’t do it to girls. It is disgusting!
3-      Some of them compete with their friends in bringing new cars, and it doesn’t suit them.
4-      They are dead honest with the teacher. When he says, “do we have a homework today?” they say, “Yes.” And count every single homework given by the teacher. Even they create new ones. Sometimes they take the initiative and tell the teacher what homework or assignments we have. Stop it girls, it doesn’t lead you anywhere. You are just ruining the future of the other half and nothing else.
5-      Some girls whisper in class with their friends, and you know what, boys think that you are speaking about them. So please don’t whisper.
6-      Some of the girls have occupied the benches and never let anyone else sit there. it is not fair. Ok, we agreed on being equal, but now you are getting the lion’s share.
7-      Speaking generally, girls are better than boys in speaking, so don’t laugh at those boys who stress words, pronounce incorrectly or don’t know how to speak up. It is not nice.
8-      Some of them visit the toilets too often. I really don’t know why I don’t like that. I just wanted to make it eight.

A girl’s priority list as she studies at AUI-S

Learning English, Getting a degree, getting married.
Freshman or Freshwoman:
Learning English, Getting a degree, getting married
Getting a degree, learning English, getting married
Getting a degree, getting married
Getting married

Why being a girl is better than being a boy at AUI-S?

-          You will have the chance to go to the women-to-women conference in U.S. and say that you want to become an ambassador.
-          Every professor will attribute more respect to you, especially Mr. G
-          You sit in front of the class and no one denies you that right.
-          You always have an excuse not to come to class but you come anyway.
-          You are never treated as a suspect.
-          You are free of the love concerns. What you care about is breakfast and high-heels.
-          You are always welcome

A comparison table between a dorm girl and a home girl

Drom Girl
Home Girl
lives away from home
Lives at home
Uses only bus to go to AUI-S
Uses buses, taxies, and cars to go to AUI-S
Is always online on Facebook
Knows every single show on TV
 suspecious of the boys, so when a boy says, “How are you?”, she says,” Why?”
They tend to be more familiar with boys. When a boy asks, “How are you?”. she says, “I am fine. Thanks, and you?”
On the weekends, goes back to home
On the weekends, goes out of home
Has a better chance of gossiping others, especially the boys
Doesn’t have that opportunity
Favorite food: Rice and Beans
Favorite food: a pizza at Friends
Knows more than necessary about the other boys, even if they were not at her class
Doesn’t know much about the other boys, even if they were at her class
Drom is the second prison for them after home
Home is their first and last prison
Tend to sit more on the grass
Tend to sit more on the benches
Likes sports, especially volleyball and Tai-Kuan-do
Doesn’t like sports, prefers Yoga
If she went to the cafeteria, she should be really hungry
If she went to the cafeteria, she should be dying for some conversation
Always has a small smile on her face
The make up doesn’t let you see the smile

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13 Comments: on "Fun With AUI-S (AUI-S Girls)"

Anonymous said...

This time, you left nothing for me to talk about. But there is one:I: this is not only Mr.G; this is all the Mr s(Misters).

An advice for Mr s:
no American will get a Iraq girl whether Arabic or Kurdish. it is a fact and you know it.

An advice for Iraqi Mr s: no Iraq(at AUIS) will get a Mascot stuff(I mean American girls). This is fact

Mascot room; She has a boyophobia.

AUIS boys and girls; none of you get a sense of American culture. American culture is not that bad.

Point information 1:
She will become an embassador BECAUSE: she is pretty,friend with everyone(mostly rich from Political support). She tries to deny Mr.little poor, but he does not realizes.

Point information 2:
She will not be an embassador, FOR she is not beatiful, friend with all(rich and others). She tries to make it, but no body gives her attention.

I got a quatation: this is form a HOME girl: "My mother says do not be friend with a guy who do not live in the town(Sulimani or Erbil" (locky town Boys). I shall not say her name because I promised.

Here is my Email if anybody wants to contact me
( kavo.petrov@gmail.com )


Anonymous said...

It was a good and, I think, fair article.
Girls are the girls. They never tend to change. I believe it does not matter where you live, it matters how you use your mind, behave and think.
I introduced myself to a girl at AUI-S a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, she is so childish and avoiding me.
So, when AUI-S girls GROW UP really?

Nylon Crocodile

Anonymous said...

I did not find anything funny, and there is not much to make difference between AUIS girls nd girls in general. there are points that irrelevant to what you are trying to say. for example, situation in Afhanistan does not do anything with not having naked girls on the streets!!if this is the reason i think the US can afford to send some of naked girls to Afghansitan instead of sacrificing its soldieres!!. Second, what are you trying to say about girls by" hot Mascot!"? what is your point about AUIS girls?again you mixed up ideas there is not any relationship between" dorm problems" and " fun with AUIS girls"!!.....

Anonymous said...

My guess is that the writer spends too much of energy and time observing AUI-S girls. If you are that much into girls...dud let me tell you, just go and tell her what you feel. The worst scenario is that you'll get the big R, or Rejection.
All in all, it is a funny writing, but I disagree with some points.

Anonymous said...

Silly article, but what do you expect from a blog that has nothing but guy writers? A blog with 100 percent guy writers will say tons of sexist things. It will also be angry because the boy writers are lonely.

Anonymous said...

Nylon Crocodile,

So if a girl ignores you, she needs to grow up? That's your opinion. But maybe it might have to do with you being an annoying, irritating guy?

hazha jabar said...

thanks it is TRUEEEEEEE i really like it because it has too many facts that even shocked me while i was reading it. how did you get these ideas? really nice

Anonymous said...

Dear blogger/bloggers,
This blog is a good opportunity to have your voice,but that doesn't mean you have to criticize everything!You also shouldn't have personal attacks.Everyone has something to be criticized, even you, dear bloggers.Thus, think back when you write.. just don't throw away bunches of words that are not related. I don't know if a girl or girls have hurt your feelings and motivated you to write. Be clear and what you know about girls, don't generalize your knowledge. Moreover,what is a hot mascot doing among writings about girls?

Anonymous said...

Freedom of speech does not mean saying whatever you want. There is no law anywhere that supports this. You are behaving like children. Shame on you for what you say about the femaile students. How dare you.

Anonymous said...

I think you just wasted your time writing this article. And I wasted mine reading it...

Anonymous said...

It's so funny to see you guys writing only about girls. Just look at your "articles" (i quoted the word article because i dont really regard what you write as articles since they are not well-written); they are complaining on the girls and saying the girls do this and that. From reading your "articles", it appears to me that those who write those stuff are just weak guys who cant get to know girls and are so upset hat they turn to this blog and complain.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

It is written on the blog, "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it" But the blog administrator remove the comments they don't like... what a weird blog!

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